Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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