If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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