just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
