I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
