Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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