The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just pynch a tree in the face
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i've created a new STD.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
