Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
