There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
