well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
