one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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