at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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