can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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