You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
