when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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