I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
