It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
