I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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