I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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