dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
