I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
