Ambien. No doubt about it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
