My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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