Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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