3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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