do herpes really smell.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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