ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize