I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
