He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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