Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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