she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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