oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
