Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
