im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
