I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
