It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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