Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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