Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
