Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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