thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
