I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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