you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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