Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
