Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
