Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize