if you like me you must not know who I am
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
