you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
