She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
