But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
