I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
