make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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