You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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