sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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