I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize