I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
