I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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