Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
